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Hi this is my fist time writing living out of uk with no surpport in my country there is not much help I can get I was diagnased with ADD a will back can’t get the meds here need to have them imported from uk makes it harder. I had stopped the meds for a will but think will start again for i have messed up with my family i also thought of cammiting susid today but after reading all that is written there i am felling as is sonone out there is like me i am not alon thanks. i am not one who keeps in touch very well so hope things will change kenya hope to hear from someone
Really recommend you talk to others on our forum.
to the lady who is 35 and just been diagnosed can i just say that i too am 35 am a single parent and was diagnosed last year i have 4 children and just finding out my 3rd has adhd hes just turned 6 ritalin didnt work for me but i have been on atomoxitine for a few months now which works differently and i find it helped with concentration quite a bit im not as ready to dive in when people are talking and i rememeber the odd thing surprisingly but its not for us to say wether you should take meds i would trust in your specailist and they should be able to tell u wether it would help with your adhd becuase if i know anything and theres at least 4 of us in my house with adhd its that no person with the same illness is the same its helped me no end iam so greatfull to have been diagnosed coz 50 years ago i wldnt have been and its really possitive that things are moving forward fair enough not fast enough but at least they are! i just still wish there was some thing that cld be done about the ignorance and stigma and the assumptions people make about us hopefully in our kids times ahead things will be diff i just keep remembering that winston churchill was an adhder and look what he acheived try n think possitive girls there are lots of possitives from having this illness aswell as its hard work weve had a harder struggle in life but weve all survived. be proud xxx
HI I have a daughter who as adhd,she copes quite well with extra support. However our son was diagnosed with adhd and asd at the age of seven. we knew our son was struggling alot earlier than the age he was diagnosed. He has struggled, he was excluded from mainstream school constantley.After fighting 3 years, he was statemented he is now in a all boys school. all the boys have learning issues, our son is thriving and more important he is happy. I myself struggled in school,I had noticed i was very simular to my children, i struggled to sleep, talked alot, but the main issue for me was not being able to concerntrate for long. this was more apparent when i went back to study. I took my son to a specialist appointment early 2012. the specialist was a locum, she listened for a while and she suggested i was tested. I went for tests in my area and found the tests read high. It was suggested i went for futher tests in wakefield.After 8 months waiting i got an appointment. After more tests it was confimed adhd too. So far i have not found any support in area. However i am relived to find out due to the fact i started doing a degree this year, and sometimes really struggle, so maybe i will learn new strattergies on how to deal with it, so i will be ble to accomplish what i set out to do. At the same time there is such a stigma around adhd it can be quite worring as to how people react. The positive thing is i have struggled through life at times. but i have coped, i have also passed12 courses without support. even though they have been a magor challenge. This enables me to feel more positive about my own childrens future with the condition, although their challenges will differ from mine, with support they can achieve in the future. The challenge for me is excepting the diagnoses and moving positively towards my personal goals.
It is good to read this website so that people with ADHD like myself are not alone. Having had to put with 40 years of this nonsense it it such a relief to find that other people think/behave like me. Bearing in mind that 3/5% of the population suffer with this condition I am finding it difficult to locate any organisation in my area that meet on a weekly/monthly basis. I also believe that more understanding of this condition needs to relayed to the medical world.. Having seen a lady with ADHD on a TV programme, my doctor was really supportive and backed me, even after being told by 2 psychiatrists that I was suffering with depression and that ADHD did not exist. I feel like shouting from the roof tops that this monster does exist and only makes me think about the number of people who are contunually back and forth to the doctor popping pills for depression. I think I may make an appt to see my doc to discuss this issue regarding patients who are in this situation – people need to promote this disability. I would also like to know what the siuation is regarding support if someone with ADHD wanted to go back to college. A friend of mine who is a special needs teacher informs me that I would be entitled to IT equipment as well as a mentor/buddy.
So 2 questions – college support – weekly/monthly meeting in my area – SW Wales
Alas we thing the nearest meeting to south Wales is in Bristol.
I have a guy friend who was recently diagnosed with ADD. I saw him recently after he had been helped for a while and he is sooo much better. Other friends have described me as being the female version of him and I have had the same problems as him my whole life. My Dad’s a GP, but as ADD/ADHD wasn’t widely known about 15-20 years ago and he’d had the same problems, he and my step-mum brushed aside the thoughts that I was different from the other kids and that I was just somewhere on the broad spectrum of “normal” and I just had to work hard at it. I had no friends at school, or at least there were nice enough people who put up with my presence, and teachers, although they liked me, seemed constantly flummoxed. Although on the surface of things I look successful (job for longer than a year, husband, degree) I have been told that if I’m not able to improve my “extreme scattiness-cum-laziness” I might loose my current job, I might loose my husband and because of my problems I didn’t do as well with my school exams or my degree as my intelligence would suggest I’m capable of. At uni I was diagnosed with dyslexia, I asked at the time if I might have ADHD but because I wasn’t hyperactive my concerns were brushed aside. As I hadn’t actually done much research into it I took their word for it and carried on.
Now because of my friend I’m really going to go for it. With all of the information I have found, I have cried at practically every page and story as I see myself in most pages. My husband and now my Dad agree it’s worth looking into as well. I went to the GP last week – but no, apparently Cambridgeshire don’t fund adult ADD/ADHD investigations or treatments, unless you were diagnosed as a child. I cried again as it was like I’d found the answer (potentially) but now I’m not able to do anything about it. I have since found out why that decision was made and despite attempts by local ADD and ADHD organisations in the area, the decision does not appear to be reversing. I am floored. I don’t have the money to go private and I think work are going to run out of patience waiting for an NHS-involved resolution, although if it’s found I don’t have ADD (although I’m very certain I am), I have no idea what’s going to happen.
Any advice anyone?
Frist of all we suggest you post this in our forum – far more people with specific experience will read it and be able to answer.
However, we have had some experience with Cambridgeshire. They are treatoing you very poorly and failing in their duty of care. We will see if we can get some specific information to you directly via the address you registered with.
Please don’t give up, and, whatever happens, let us know how you are getting on.
well its been a while since i last posted and a lot has happened.
in my area the PCT was holding up the release of funds for an extra 8 months and i eventually went to the local MP’s. Not only did i get a response but i was seen within a month, this shock up my beliefs a little as i always hold politicians in the lowest regard, after a three hour meeting with a psyc and my Mum (thank you mum for being a god send) i got a direct response – i had ADHD.
as if i didn’t know already.
the next day i was put on medication – it felt like the first day of the rest of my life. Completely changed everything that i have hated about myself for so long (well not everything but its not a wonder drug or everyone would want it).
that was just 2 weeks ago – and now i have finished an essay that was gathering dust and given a presentation that i was proud of (the people marking it though it was pretty good too).
but the biggest change is that i can now implement elements of CBT (self taught-who can actually afford a therapy) that i never could before – its like they handed me the choice to stop thinking about the “bad things” – the choice to sit and watch a movie with my partner – the choice to walk away form an argument – the choice to let go and enjoy myself for a night a week without punishing myself for not continually “working” (when i say working i mean going around in circles and not actually doing anything) these are all things that i did not know were a problem.
I’m still odd and a bit weird – it seems nothing will stop me blurting things out =] but sod it you can’t have it all.
i still can’t bring myself to care about my looks or weight or anything else that seem to fascinate the majority of the female population (i work pretty much solely with women as a nurse). But i hope with continuing use of medication i can can be me successfully.
for anyone who is struggling (with ADHD or with out it – I’ve delt with a hell of a lot in my “small number of years”) i now feel like i would be able to give you my proper attention – msg me and i will listen + help if you want it.
Hi 8LOIS8, I am currently in Swindon trying to finish a masters degree….unfortunately due to ADD issues, I am being thrown out of my course.Feeling extremely frustrated.How can I get a diagnosis in Swindon? Please help.
For specific questions we suggest you ask them on our forum. Click here.
Hi, your University Student Support department should assess you for ADD and you can then apply for Disabled Student’s Allowance (DSA). You should speak to your Student Union Advice Centre about appealing this decision to throw you off your course. You may be able to submit mitigating circumstances due to ADD.
HI I HAVE JUST BEEN DIAGNOSED WITH ADHD, I HAVE ALWAYS STRUGGLED IN LIFE TO FIT IN, I HATED SCHOOL, I HAVE 2 CHILDREN WITH THE SAME CONDITION, I AM 35 I AM NOT SURE WETHER TO GO ON MEDICATION OR NOT IF OFFERD,
IT WOULD BE NICE TO CONCENTRATE AND STUDY WITHOUT STRESSING THOUGH.
IN YOUR PERSONAL EXPERIENCE ARE YOU PLEASED YOU TOOK THE MEDICATION ROUTE? REGARDS ANG
This is the sort of thing that would be best discussed on the forum (click here and scroll down a bit for the link).
I had always felt as if though there was something wrong with me and as if though I was somehow different.I could never focus at school and would just zone out,start daydreaming instead of doing any work,and as a result,I did not exactly do well at school.Later in life,I’d drift from one job to another,sometimes quitting on the spur of the moment without having another job to go to,I was useless with money,and to this day,I still am.I was promiscious,and partied alot,never taking life seriously,just living day by day,and without having any goals or a clear direction.Totally scatterbrained,I’d forget all kinds of things,from birthdays to paying bills,and I could never focus on any task in hand,as I’d always find something else that needed doing.A short fuse is also something I’ve always had.I could mention a hundred and one other things,but I never knew What was actually wrong until I met someone with ADHD,a man in his late 40′s.He told me about himself and his life,and it was like hearing myself talk about MY life,so I started reading up on ADHD,and the tears started to stream down my face,I could identify with everything I read.
It really has imparied on my life,I am a mother now,and I do have a job (am self employed,hence why I can stick to my job,I never liked being told what to do,and so would get up and leave in previous jobs),but I feel like I ned to get my act together,I need to become better with my finances,I have not got a penny saved up as I keep spending money like water,although I do earn good money and could save,if \I was diciplined enough.My short fuse,especially around that time of the month is another area that I need to work on.But although I am virtually 100% sure that I have got ADD (not ADHD),I am scared to seek help in case I won’t get taken seriously.I was diagnosed with depression a couple of times in the past,but I am very confident that was not the right diagnosis.It’s like I have seen a light at the end of the tunnel maybe something can be done,but I am just not sure that my GP would actually listen to me,it still seems to be such a stigma attached to ADD and ADHD in adults,and it seems many GP’s don’t actually believe in the fact that it exixts
I was diagnosed 2 1/2 years ago and have found no help personally think the reason I have survived so far is because of my nature, not my symptoms, nor my giftedness or anything else.
In the end, knowing oneself because of this condition is what gets you through and my goodness there will be many moments of doubt and if you attempt to make your way in a world in which you are circular peg in a square hole, you might fit in the space, but you still don’t belong on every so often in those gaps some bastard and that includes the GPs will try and make you feel less undermine everything you say.
I say DAMN THEM!!!!! Damn them all to hell.
Everything I just said, might very well be easily said by a person of colour about living life in a predominantly white world, and when somebody makes a snap judgement that the condition you live with you have to remember to be true to yourself sometimes the dreams you had sold to you not born from you, these are the ones that will make you successful ones that you can shape on your own terms, we were born this way you can only pretend something you’re not for so long, some may pass others get drugged and beat into submission.
Don’t let that be you or yours we have to take a stand. We are the MOTHERS, most of us primary care givers, we must be strong so that our children can be and becoming knowledgable able the condition and becoming a role model to them by arming ourselves with a heavy artillery of strategies is where to start we start building by talking one another.
Hi Trine, I have just read your post, and most certainly know where you are coming from, I could have written it for myself, fortunately at age 43 I managed to get my diagnosis for ADHD/ADD and am medicated pretty much all day and am feeling that a fog has cleared in my head, ok its not a magic cure I still struggle with day to day living, but I feel I now know why the whole of my life has felt like a roller coaster road without the brakes!!! You do need to be strong and go back to your GP and ask to referred to a specialist, its a lengthy process but well worth it in the end, if you get your diagnosis and are medicated with an appropriate drug. Keep going, do not give up as there is a light at the end of the tunnel, I know, I am feeling happier about my life and can look forward to the future, this would have been almost impossible pre diagnosis.
Take Care and good luck
I am so relieved to say that I am finally in the system waiting for an assessment at the Autism & Adult ADHD Team in my county. They told me it should be less than 6 months to wait (it has been 3 months already so far) but it is so amazing to be able to have something to look forward to. It’s not the diagnosis itself that it important to me; more the strategies that I am hoping they will teach me, which will help me to function better in work particularly but also life in general. Although, having said that, it would be a great help to my self-esteem to finally have an explanation why I behave the way I do and some of the things I hate about myself and how I have always been constantly getting into trouble, both as a child in school and now as an adult in work, it would be so nice to have an answer to people who keep criticizing me all the time and to be able to say “actually it’s a recognized disability I am not just rude/lazy/scatty/forgetful/don’t give a damn…”
The main thing I am worried about, going forwards in the assessment, is that my mum is absolutely convinced I don’t have ADHD, she was a schoolteacher so she has come across some pretty bad behavioural problems in her time, she doesn’t think that I possibly could have been as bad as this (even though she never actually taught me herself). Plus, because I am intelligent and quick, I managed to get through school quite well academically despite constantly being in trouble for misbehaving and being ‘disruptive’. So given her way of thinking, my mum is unfortunately very unsupportive in me trying to pursue a diagnosis and get some help. Normally she is right by me in anything I do and she is the one that I talk to when I am down, so it hurts that she can’t bring herself to support me in something that it so important to me. In addition, my mum seems to have erased from her memory what I was really like when I was a child, I can recall many conversations with schoolteachers etc, every time I got into trouble, every time she came home from parents evening and had to pour herself a stiff drink… she has forgotten all this and it seems like she is recalling a completely different childhood to the one I actually had. It seems that your childhood experience is the key to the diagnosis as they say you can’t develop ADHD in adult life (I almost certainly had hyperactive type as a child, but now I would say it is mainly inattentive). How am I going to get her to cooperate with the questionnaires she will be asked to complete as part of the assessment? I am worried my mum is going to thwart my attempt at finding a resolution that would bring me so much comfort.
I am 53 years of age having lived with this debilitating brain all my life. I have spent numerous hours in the doctors crying depressed worthless and a lot of other bad feelings, thoughts. I had a totally miserable life growing up always branded the black sheep of the family accused of being lazy and all the other things that I Know now to be ADHD. I was sexually abused by a neighbour at the age of 13 whilst on holiday with it and his wife. He later died – sadly for me of natural causes – I should still be doing time for his death if only I had a chance to stick a knife in him. I left home at the age of 19 having been beaten by my father with a plastic pipe and never came home until by brother committed suicide 18 months later. I have gone through numerous few relationships not knowing why my thoughts and feelings of sheer emptiness, nothingness and worthlessness were inside my head. In July 2008 I watched gmtv with Eamon Holmes talking to a lady who had ADHD and suddenly it started to fall into place. It took me 12 months before I eventually got to see an ADHD Consultant and the medication that goes with it. Previously to getting this appointment I had to endure 2 interviews with a different psychiatrist, one that said I was suffering from depression and he other who told my husband after I left the room in floods of tears that ADHD did not exist. Worse than that I have a sister who is a psychiatric nurse who I only told before this Xmas what I was suffering from ADHD. The response I received was “it’s a learning disability and not a mental condition” – in other words washing her hands of me. Why was I sent to see a psychiatrist if it was not a psychiatric condition. I am in a situation now that my husband has left me and he being retired is spending as much time with our son to the point that he keeps him away from school knowing that I have to work to keep me sane. Luckily I work in a school where things are not too taxing other than the children ar not taught how to read write and do basic mathematics which is incredibly frustrating to me and my friend in my head. My life has been a continual Ioad of highs and much more lows.
With all the information I read about it seems that anything from 3 to 4% of the population suffers in this way but it is still treated as a taboo subject. What is being done about research in this area. Do I give up and go down to the local train track or do I put up with this eternal hell for the next 25/30 years.
Hey dont give up im 43 and like you my life was full of ups and downs like you more downs ,failed relationships a million jobs .I was treated with depression from the age of 16 name an antidepressant ive had it WHY cause i wasnt depressed .I then had my kids and hay hoe mirror image WHY cause they both had ADHD one of them is now 18 and it was like watching myself and last year i thought enough is enough i dont want to spend the next 43 years living this crap .I had recently moved and my new GP listened yep listened and agreed unlike what felt like every doctor i told in the last god knows how many years ,I also asked my meds to be changed to sertraline the reason, my brother suffers with obsessive thinking strange that as our behaviors as kids were nearly identical .I decided at least its a start if these tablets stop my obsessive behaviors and guess what bingo .I was sent to The Mauldsley Hospital in london where i was diagnosed ,ive started medication and i feel so different the fog has lifted now i can really start to live life .Its early days but please dont give in .All the best of luck x
I’ve just been diagnosed at Maudsley, i was told to see my Dr in 2 weeks for medication, Im struggling at the moment because i feel im at the peak of my characteristics, had to book off from work, due to feeling sooo overwhelmed. i’m a bit nervous about the medication, i was told it would be ritalin? ““are you on this too? can i keep in contact with you on these early days of my journey.
Don’t you dare give up! We have to keep talking so we can hear one another and get loud enough so the powers that be hear all of us.
Your experience of life sounds like it has been filled with a lot of traumatic moments but the thing is you are still here and that is not coincidence.
First, you have to know two things inside out –YOURSELF AND THIS CONDITION.
For some it is not a disability it is just a nuero-biological condition which they have been lucky enough to never have needed a diagnosis or may have come up in a situation that enabled them to build strategies that worked and grew with them.
What I have found is that many of the so-called specialist have a textbook and they try to fit you into the criteria, if you don’t fit they treat you as difficult or just give up.
Also because of the lack of 121 support/coaching options they may see you once a week discuss trying something but hold on that is 6 days and 23 hours for you to forget all about it.
if you can get yourself a coach if you feel really overwhelmed start with daily (make sure that they offer that) contact – phone or skype for about 2 x 10 min or less(morning late/afternoon) to track you daily goals or help maintain a strategy, or join a group and get a buddy.
Read everything you can because you need to be involved in your own care and don’t let them get narky with you, as if you think you know so much. You have to know the different methods what people say works and why and investigate these things because there are many different biases from different “experts”.
Use your fury(adrenaline shot)! Write down ideas and questions in notebook, then review it! you may have already thought of solutions you just forget to get or keep them going.
You are a human being, an individual, a woman and Stronger than you may at times think!
Check out http://WWW.ADDCLASSES.COM they have free teleseminars ignore the pay one (unless you want that).
hi there i have adhd im 35 i have 5 children 2 of which also have adhd im a single parent and only got diagnosed last year i learned along time ago that being bothered by what other people think of me is only ever gonna hurt and you cant please every body all the time so finding inner peace is whats important i always felt like a freak often called the mad 1 by freinds and loved onse and i smiled even laughed while inside thinkin how am i mad? how can i change and be like them? i found reading books on woman adhd helped me understand myself and my children even and helped me fight my corner with doctors iam on a wonderfull medication that helps me with my memory and other parts of my adhd please dont give up things get better and your not at fault its other people ignorance that is to blame u need to start to like yourself and i found this in understanding that adhd wasnt my fault i was born like this there are many great people with adhd try and distance yourself from negative people and i wish you all the best xx marie x
Hello, I have just started to suspect that I may have ADHD, not sure if that is what it is though. Went online and found this site, I’m not really sure I will take it further, let’s face it I’m not great at following things up. The comments above got me a bit down though, I’ve lived in the UK for about a year, haven’t gotten a GP yet, even though I need one since I have asthma, but I don’t remember to take my medication anyway so I’m not sure it matters LOL: I think it gets me nervous because it’s more than a one step procedure, I can barely make it through that much on a good day, I have the attention span of a five year old. I read a booklet about ADHD an the pieces fit together too well to be a coincidence. I suspected for a while that I was dyslexic, but I don’t have problems with reading and writing. I’m quite sufficient in that area( in Swedish anyway), so much in fact that I’ve made it through school and college by writing essays two hours before they were due and getting away with it, with fairly good grades too. I’m unable to keep routines, I forget to pay bills (thank god for direct debit), I forget important appointments even if I’ve written them down and I am unable to wind down, movies are too long so I watch tv series instead, I can do that for hours though. in fact I like it when there is some stress involved, that makes things faster. If I get caught behind someone who takes too long to get their money out at the store literally makes my skin crawl. The point is that I have no idea where to begin looking, I don’t even know where to look for a GP, please help
Fro a detailed respose please post on our forum, but if you want to start by looking for a GP try here:
I can totally relate to your comments. I too thought i had dyslexia so i went to see the student advisors at my univeristy who suggested i see my GP as i also did not have any problems with reading and writing. When watching films at the cinema, i just cant sit still, im so fidgety and when people are whispering or talking i get very frustrated as i cant concentrate on the film. Also, im so impatient so can totally relate to your skin crawling in queues etc, i feel exactly the same. Am currently in the process of writing a long letter to the NHS about the way people similar to us, have been treated with reagrds to Adult ADHD.
lol what a wally I am, I didnt think the first post had posted, thats adhd for you lol
I like to think were unique and special, Im crazy somedays, and sad others, mostly manic, I used to cry alot and think I was weird….but were not..were great, so give yourself a great big hug and wipe the tears from your eyes because Im pretty sure you are all lovely people, oh and copy the link above it’s really interesting!
Copy and paste this link, it’s really interesting, Im 40 and the mad things ive done and odd behaviour, and all the things you have said above, is so true with me too, we just need to learn to cope with ourselves, we should have been taught as children but were misunderstood, so give yourselves a great big hug and wipe the tears from your eyes and embrace your differences xx
Ladies, my daughter was diagnosed with ADHD at the age of 7 after many years of trying to get medical services to take me seriously. I heard she was too young, and then Girls dont get it. etc etc. Her first consultant (and she has had many mainly locums, different ones every time) told me the best advise he could give me was that my daughter was a disabled child and that as normal as she might look to the rest of the world I was never to forget this. I wont lie its been a tough road and we have had our ups and downs, She is now 23 with two small children and another on the way and is really struggling to cope with the day to day challenges of looking afterthem and a home and her finances. I count us as lucky as we were lucky enought to find a consultant who would continue her treatment after the age of 18 when childrens services just washed their hands of her. She needs lots of support, coping mechanisms etc etc but the one thing I want to share is that she is and always has been highly intelligent but is perceived as Lazy by outsiders looking in. ADHD is a hidden disabiity and deserves the same support and respect as Autism. You are all not alone, its just that there are fewer females diagnosed than males and you are not understood by the general population. I understand and I will continue to fight for my child and now my grandchidren and I promise If any of you want to contact me because you feel like a freek your not by the way or feel isolated I am a good listener xx
hi this is my second comment, and all i can say to you girls is keep trying dont think of it as 1 appointment think of it as kind of a journey that will take some time so that you dont give up or keep getting your hopes dashed. it took me 14 years of being wrongly diagnosed as having depression before i got a correct diagnosis and i had to figure out i had it myself and go to the doctors with the information myself and the mad thing is iv now been told iv never had depression !! keep trying different doctors read as much as you can on adhd and dont give up and good luck every1 with your diagnosis and getting the right treatment hope yas all get there xx
Yes this is taking time to figure out but I do feel a little stronger about it . I have struggled a lot still have nothing concrete except my own continuing experience and sense of things . I am working on not feeling so bloody hopeless constantly-or lonely. Something has got to give.It is a long journey no doubt about it. I just hope I have enough time to really experience a time with out the constant monkey in my brain. no I am afraid I do not feel like some unrivalled secret genius etc. Just the opposite .One help I have to pass on is that I finally approached a chiropractor on this. He is Canadian has known me for a long time ( I consider him my primary health care person at this stage) . His response was that it was a possibility. Examning my neck he found problems. I have had some adjustments and yes it has helped me to think more clearly and definatly lifted my mood. Of course like anything else you has to find the right chiropractor .
You may have got my previous response to your really encouraging mail. Thanks again, just thought I would mention something that has helped me. Janine x
Not soon enough!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I have just come onto this site after being given the address by my doctor. After reading about adhd and now seeing your comments, my life also now makes sense. I have literally just been to the doctors, and all he did was give me the address for this site and said there is no medical cure (which i understand) and that i probably do have adhd but there is no test or any way to diagnose it. I really dont know where to go from here, and i only just managed to pluck up the courage and mention it to my doctor! After reading about adhd, i got excited at the fact that i can finally make sense of everything, and now i’ve hit a brick wall
Thank your doctor for giving you the address of this site. Tell him that on the site you have read that there are tests for ADHD (psychological, not physiological), and it can be diagnosed. There is not a cure for it, but there are treatments and details are in the NICE guidelines, which he should probably read. All of this information is available in greater detail in various parts of the site. He should then refer you to someone who can diagnose ADHD (a psychiatrist).
i know exactly how you feel. My doctor didnt care either, but i went back today and saw a different doctor and explained myself a little better than last time and she said that the mental health something-or-other (ive forgotten already!) will contact me in four weeks. I think you have to be persistant. this time i said that it really affects my life negatively, its not just my own peace of mind that i want, its some kind of help whether it be couselling or medicine. i said i desperatley wanted a professional who is trained to see what the problem is- maybe its ADD, or maybe its something i havent even heard of. i said that is affected me forever and now i get depressed, fearful, anxious and ive got myself into such a mess with money that its actually detrimental to me. the more i went on about it, the more she softned. she started off telling me to call some helpline for depression and saying there isnt anything that can be done for ADD, but after i let it all out and i burst into tears, she then said she’ll contact the mental health thing. i now have a little bit of hope. before this, i felt exactly how you feel. do try again with a different doctor and say how much it affects you badly x good luck x
I wish I didn’t think I had Adhd . I wish if I have, that I was young enough to be taken seriously. I am afraid of drugs. I am waiting for this to go away. Through the lens of adhd my entire life now makes sense. I am alone with this. I am a UK citizen abroad in a country that barely believes ADHD exists, and not in adults. So its not that somehow despite all the ideas runing through my head, the stuff I can understand. And all I want to learn, despite all this I am not either chronically stupid or intellectually deficit. Still there is no way I can find here that there is help. I have made a further fool of myself trying. I don’t want to keep on banging my head against this wall. Its getting harder now -if i am right there is no cure no fixing this no way to change that I can avail of. How can I be so stupid? Even the people I have sppken to here are either doubting, depressed, frustrated or in denial. I keep in touch with this site because it tells me that somewhere else things are different.It helps to know that I may not be the freak I have always believed myself to be. J.
iv just found this site and your comment has got me in tears !! please please dont feel stupid im 34 iv just been diagnosed with adhd after years of just thinking i was a freak and it was only when my 3rd child got diagnosed with adhd that the doctors would even start the ball rolling to get me the diagnoses i need to get the help support and possibly medication i need. I still feel ashamed to tell most people that i have adhd because of the stigma that comes with it, but your not stupid were not stupid!! since getting my diagnosis i feel so excited for the first time in years that i can receive the help i need to support my children properly as i always thought i was just not a good enough mother, can i just ask which country are you in?and could you not come and get support in this country? its helped me lots to buy books on adhd to make more sence of what its about from the addiss website if there is any info you would like me to get for you from over here you could let me know and ill try my best to help!! good luck with everything and take care marie x
Sorry I didn’t reply sooner i just found found your email. Thankyou for sending it . It is so amazing when someone simply believes you even when you don’t even believe yourself! I am managing, I hope you are too. And don’t doubt that you are a more concientous aware mother than many because of the obstacles you face. I have struggled through both motherhood and academic study too both winning and losing , of course, always taking unbelievabable, ridiculous detours ! At last I now know what that’s about. Still incredibly frustrating. I know this is easier said than done -Please never be angry with yourself, just get back on route when you have just realised what you have just found so incredibly interesting is not actually on this moments adgenda! -be bloody minded about getting where you want to be or even simply finding how to feel allright about yourself (because if you are in anyway like me I want to be in lots of places!), no matter what anyone else thinks -remember to laugh in the face of it all or have that cry and it will help. And forgive yourself continuously -I mean it – It can be one of our secret tools! rather than the self mutilation we can indulge in. We are not stupid and I shouldn’t shout it accross the net that I am! I care and am sorry I hurt your feelings Marie, I should be more aware. I hope you find this -We are both tougher than we know I think! Thankyou for your support. I will check in again and if you want let me know how you are doing ? I would like to know. J.
i know this may come accross as harsh but i have just found this site (mainly your comment!) and feel some sence of relief that there are other people in similar situations, i am working towards a diagnosis (forcing it through the NHS) but i’m angry that i spent my childhood and my teen years as a social outcast and depressed. i seem to struggle with tasks that i see as being simple and easy, wrighting an essay takes me weeks and i’ve been called lazy and stupid by teachers and parents. i’ve been told i have asbergers and half a ton of other thing as well as bipolar disorder. i have no will left to be pulled about anymore but i can’t live the way i do, even though i am in the uk, i still feel very very alone. i hope to hell that i am not a freak and it can be treated, but it’s what my whole character is based on.
your comment seems to sum me up. i too have stuggled through school, college and work placements, my parents tried to fight for the education system to give me some sort of support. but alot of the time i was branded as a naughty child. its only now since 8 years of working, i have returned back to college after being unable to work due to drepression and anxiety that the college and nhs mental health team are ‘believing’ that i do need support. i was almost ready to give up- thinking that this is just me an odd girl who cant seem to complete such easy and normal everyday tasks, its kinda scary to think i dont really know who i am if all my thoughts a behaviour can be explained through ADHD. i too have been told have all sorts of things but apparrently they all overlap. i too feel alone with it too but im clinging to some hope, keep fighting your corner with the nhs you will get there eventually. Naomi x
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